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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27571993">Okay, Now From the Top</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnInymouse/pseuds/AnnInymouse'>AnnInymouse</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coq/pseuds/Coq'>Coq</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>RedLetterMedia RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Birthday Sex, Established Relationship, First Time, M/M, Role Reversal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:49:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,588</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27571993</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnInymouse/pseuds/AnnInymouse, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coq/pseuds/Coq</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike has a special request for his birthday. Jay isn't sure whether he can follow through with it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mike/Jay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Okay, Now From the Top</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>AnnInymouse: This started as a distraction on election night to take our minds off that stress and then spiraled into this. Thank you for reading, it was a joy to write :) The Jay POV is mine babyyy.</p><p>Coq: Writing this fic was the only thing that made election night tolerable (yay, Biden! bye, Don!). And writing with AnnInymouse has been and will continue to be a delight. I am Mike &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So the party starts at three," Mike calls into the kitchen as he reads a text message from Rich on his phone. <em> Vanilla is fine</em>, he replies to Rich, whose wife was buying ice cream to go with his birthday cake.</p><p>"I'm assuming this is a pizza scenario, since it's going to be too cold for a barbecue," Jay says. He's rounding the corner into the breakfast nook with a plate of pancakes stacked high with strawberries, bananas, and whipped cream. He sets it down in front of Mike and puts a bowl of oatmeal down for himself. At least it has a bunch of fruit in it, too, so it's not completely depressing.</p><p>The pancakes are half-gone before he realizes a few minutes later that he should probably offer to share, even if they are his birthday pancakes. "Do you want a bite?" Mike says, holding a forkful out towards Jay.</p><p>"No thanks," Jay says, wrinkling his nose. "Especially if we're having pizza later."</p><p>"C'mon," Mike whines, shoving a forkful of pancake into Jay's face. "Have at least <em> one </em> bite."</p><p>"They're <em> your </em> pancakes, why do you want me to eat them?"</p><p>"Because it's my birthday," Mike says, rubbing his foot against Jay's under the table in a way that makes Jay shiver. "And I like watching you be bad."</p><p>Jay snorts, reluctantly taking a bite from Mike's fork. He actually did have one earlier, just to make sure they were coming out okay, but Mike doesn't need to know that. They're also pretty damn good, which he feels kind of smug about.</p><p>"Mm, there, see? Doesn't it feel good to be bad?" Mike is leaning into Jay's space, giving him a syrupy kiss on the lips before Jay can object. His hand stroking up Jay's thigh, closer and closer to his crotch.</p><p>"Is this your way of buttering me up for something?"</p><p>"Maybe." Mike looks annoyed that his bluff was called, then nervous, which is ridiculous. Whatever he wants is probably sex related, and Jay has shown him time and again that he's down for any sex shit Mike could possibly want, along with a bunch of things Mike tolerates for Jay's sake. It's damn near impossible to shock Jay with a request, and besides. It's Mike's birthday.</p><p>"Out with it," Jay says. </p><p>Mike wants to kiss the smug smirk off of Jay's gorgeous face, and he also doesn't want to have to admit exactly what it is that he wants. Jay can be so fussy and fastidious, and he doesn’t know if Jay would even be willing to try it, or if simply asking for it would be enough to upset him. But he's been thinking about it for weeks now, wondering what it would be like to feel it with Jay. He wants something different for his birthday. Something different for both of them.</p><p>"I, uh...you know, um," Mike mumbles, hoping Jay will somehow psychically understand exactly what he wants.</p><p>Jay stares at Mike, waiting for him to continue. He grinds his teeth when Mike remains silent, trying not to get annoyed with him on his birthday. "Well...I don't know."</p><p>They sit in silence for another minute, Mike pushing the remains of his pancakes around on his plate, avoiding Jay's eyes. Jay wills himself to be the bigger person, combing his fingers through Mike's hair. It's overdue for a cut, some longer, curly pieces sticking up, and while it looks a little unkempt Jay loves the feeling of twirling them around his finger.</p><p>"Mike, just tell me. It's your day to do whatever while I...indulge you." Jay can't help grimacing when he says that last part, and Mike notices, snorting at Jay's obvious discomfort. Jay tugs on Mike's hair in revenge, smirking when it gets a gasp.</p><p>"You're gonna say no," Mike mutters, and Jay is really fighting hard against his annoyance now.</p><p>"I can't say <em> anything </em> if you don't tell me."</p><p>Mike sighs. He inclines his head towards Jay, and is gratified by Jay going back to stroking his hair. He keeps his fingernails perfectly manicured, with no sharp edges, which is good, considering what Mike wants. His fingertips brush against Mike's scalp, sending a little shiver down his arms. Jay's right--he can't say no if Mike doesn't ask, but he can't say yes either. Mike makes himself take a deep breath, and looks down at the wood laminate floor, because he's too embarrassed to look directly at Jay when he asks for this. "I want you to top me," he mumbles, feeling his cheeks burn.</p><p>It takes a moment for Jay to process what Mike is asking of him, freezing his fingers in Mike's hair when it clicks. He wants to laugh, or blurt out <em> no, </em> or fake ignorance and offer something about riding Mike's dick, but that all feels too cruel. Mike's face is pink, but Jay can almost guarantee that his own is worse off, cheeks feeling like they're on fire as his stomach clenches up and his heartbeat pounds in his ears. He's never done it before, and he supposes that if he were to do it with anyone it would be Mike. But he also hates nothing more than letting Mike down and Mike clearly wants this, has probably wanted it for a long time.</p><p>"I...uh." He takes a huge gulp of coffee in an effort to rid some of the dryness from his mouth, barely registering that it's still too hot. "We...I. I don't not want to, or. Just, like. Mike, I've never done that and it'll be so bad, honestly, you'll hate it, it'll probably ruin the whole day..."</p><p>Jay forces himself to stop talking, having devolved into babbling nonsense. Mike still isn't looking up at him.</p><p>Would it be emotionally manipulative of Mike to say something like "it's okay, you don't have to" when he didn't really mean it? Would it be guilting him into it, or convincing him to do something he didn't really consent to, or something otherwise sketchy or borderline evil? He decides to try to convince him, instead, because sometimes convincing Jay to try new things works. And Jay has convinced him when he's asked for weird shit in the past, and Mike has always given in, even if he doesn't always understand why Jay wants what he wants.</p><p>"It's not, uh... it's not that hard," Mike mumbles, still staring at the laminate floor. "You just kinda. You know...stick it in... I think you know how it usually works." He chuckles weakly and he feels like he's going to die of embarrassment, but he wants this more than ever, suddenly. Saying it out loud has made him want it even more, even while he's mortified to have to ask for it at all.</p><p>"You don't just <em> stick it in</em>," Jay snaps, unable to stop himself from getting prissy like he does every time Mike strikes the wrong nerve. He feels offended, condescended to, and while rationally he knows that wasn't Mike's intention he still feels a need to snipe at him. "I have to, you know...ugh, <em> move </em> a certain way, even before that I have to...prepare you, open you up or whatever--"</p><p>Mike snaps his gaze up from the floor when Jay says this. He still looks embarrassed, but there's something else now, something hungry and bright that only Jay can sate. Jay licks his lips, not entirely liking that he can feel himself warming up to this idea.</p><p>"I don't think you need to <em> prepare </em> me for too long, Jay," Mike says, trying to do his little smart ass bit, embarrassed and fighting his way out of the corner Jay is trying to back him into. "You're not exactly carrying around a huge package--"</p><p>"See, you can't help yourself even now," Jay says, placing his hand gently over Mike's mouth. Mike looks stunned, shivering, and something lurid seeps into Jay's bones. "If we're going to do this, it's gonna be different. I can't have you saying that nasty shit to me. You have to let me be the one who's in control." </p><p>He swipes his thumb across Mike's lips. Mike's eyes have grown near black with want, his whole body shivering just for the light touches he's receiving, the way Jay's voice is getting lower as he speaks. Jay has never felt so powerful when it came to Mike, at least not in regards to their sex life, and he’s starting to think maybe he can pull this off after all.</p><p>Mike finds himself nodding. His lips brush up and down against Jay's thumb with the motion. He'll do whatever Jay wants. He can shut his stupid fucking mouth for a couple hours.</p><p>Or not, because Jay's thumb has gone from a soft brush to a gentle press, and Mike's stupid fucking mouth is opening of its own volition to permit his entrance. Jay's skin tastes like the fruit that he topped Mike's birthday pancakes with, like strawberries and bananas and a little hint of syrup and whipped cream. Mike can't help but suck Jay's thumb into his mouth, curling his tongue around it with an involuntary little moan to taste the sweetness on his skin.</p><p>Jay swallows down a moan, his cock already fattening up for the way Mike is swirling his tongue around his thumb. Jay presses his index finger to Mike's lips, lightly, and when Mike sucks it in without hesitation Jay lets out a groan.</p><p>"This is a much better use of your mouth," he whispers, and Mike smiles, still not letting up on Jay's fingers. His eyelashes are fluttering, eyes closed. Jay has never seen him so docile.</p><p>"If we do this--" Mike looks at him with hooded eyes, still swirling his tongue around. Jay puts another finger in for good measure. "If we do this, will you make sure you're clean for me?"</p><p>"Mhmm."</p><p>"Will...will you let me take control of it the way I need to?"</p><p>"M<em>hmmm</em>."</p><p>Jay sighs, embarrassed to say this last part but needing to get it out of the way. "Will you...can you understand that I've never done this, and...just, not get your hopes up?"</p><p>Mike stops lapping at Jay's fingers, and Jay wants to whine in complaint, which isn't good for the alpha image he's trying to give off right now.</p><p>"You could never let me down, Jay," Mike says, his voice husky, planting a kiss on the side of Jay's wrist. Jay is oddly touched by this and has to tamp down some sort of emotion trying to claw its way out of his chest. He places his hand on either side of Mike's face, leaning in until their noses are touching, breathing onto one another.</p><p>"Then I guess I'm going to fuck you, Mike."</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Mike had gotten a speaker for the shower a few years ago, back when bluetooth speakers first became reasonably-priced. He's been enjoying it ever since, listening to podcasts or music whenever he showers alone (which is normal, since Jay insists that their shower is too small to fit both of them comfortably, even though Mike doesn't mind when Jay's wet little body slides across his own when he wants to rinse his hair). Now he's listening to some random dorky instrumental jazz playlist, so that he doesn't get a song stuck in his head while he finally gets what he's been wanting so badly.</p><p>It’s been so long since the last time Mike had bottomed for anyone, even his own hand. And the only times were back when he was a young buck in college trying to figure out what his whole deal was with his sexuality, and they hadn't gone particularly well. He had mixed experiences with other young college guys who were also scared and horny, none of whom were in any way gentle. He still has some good memories from back then, of late-night whispers, ties on doorknobs, clean white dorm room sheets covering flat mattresses that couldn't take a good plowing from a kid who didn't know how to give a good plowing anyway. Or know how to do proper preparation. There were less pleasant, more physically painful memories around that.</p><p>He spreads his Old Spice body wash onto his loofah and starts scrubbing. Jay had asked him to get clean, and he might as well get his whole body clean, not just his ass. The fragrance of the soap is like a pine forest, and he's caught Jay sniffing it in the shower a few times. Sometimes Jay likes to smell him, too, when he's clean enough and Jay is snuggling up against him. Jay would probably never admit to intentionally burying his face in Mike's underarms. He'd just claim to find the most comfortable spot, but Mike knows the truth.</p><p>As he scrubs, he thinks about how it still seems impossible to him that he's actually going to get what he wants. He's trying not to imagine it right now, trying not to play it out in his mind before it actually happens. He'll just have to trust that Jay's been fucked by him enough times to have at least some idea of what he's supposed to do. Based on how his stomach does a roller-coaster flip when he thinks about how Jay pressed his fingers into Mike's mouth just a half hour ago, he's pretty sure that whatever Jay does to him is going to be memorable, at the very least.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Jay can’t stop from pacing around their bedroom, the sound of the shower running and the tinny echo of whatever music Mike is listening to doing little to calm him. Now that he’s away from Mike and the magnetic grip he has on him his doubts are flooding back, every step bringing with it the feeling that he’s in way over his head. He sits on the bed for only a moment before feeling like he’ll explode out of his skin if he doesn’t keep constantly moving. Even little details are confounding him, like what he should do about his clothes. Normally Mike likes to strip them off for him, but for this he might want Jay already naked by the time he comes into the room. </p><p>Jay groans, grabbing for the lube to at least give his hands something to do. He takes it out of the drawer in the nightstand on Mike’s side of the bed, weighing it in his hands and trying to remember if they have another bottle stashed somewhere. It’s not really that close to empty, just a little less than halfway full, but with how untested Mike’s ass is they’ll need more lube than normal. The realization that he has to work Mike open is fully dawning on Jay, cold panic settling in with it. It almost hurts to breathe, and he debates jumping into the shower with Mike in an effort to give in to some other desire of his. Mike loves shower sex, a request Jay almost always denies because of how cramped the shower is and his fear that one of them will slip, but maybe if he gives in to that today he can get out of this topping nonsense. Before this plan is done forming he hears the shower turn off, bringing with it the growing dread that there’s no going back. He has to do this at least once for Mike, who gives in to every desire Jay thrusts on him.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>As he dries off, Mike considers whether he should put his clothes back on. He always enjoys undressing Jay, and they rarely switch that up, even when Jay is feeling bossy (unless Mike is totally wasted, but then in those cases they rarely fuck anyway). Maybe it would be fun for Jay to undress <em> him </em>this time. Plus, his clothes were pretty clean, since he'd just put them on an hour ago. They wouldn't interfere with his nice, manly, Old Spice smell. </p><p>He opens the door a few minutes later to see Jay sitting on the bed, looking deeply concerned. For a moment he's worried, but then he remembers that it's almost certainly because Jay is worried about his performance, which is both crazy (because he's perfect to Mike) and understandable, considering that he's never done this before.</p><p>"My ass is as squeaky clean as it's going to get," Mike says, trying to lighten the mood.</p><p>"Wonderful," Jay snaps, unable to keep his tone from sounding nasty. He wants to reach out to Mike in apology, or at least wince, but he's frozen in place on the bed. At the very least he's stopped his pacing, resigned to jiggling his leg anxiously, a nervous tic he picked up from Mike, who’s fully clothed for some reason. It dawns on him that it's because Mike wants Jay to strip him the way he normally does Jay, which only makes him more anxious.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Mike asks, still against the doorframe, having learned the hard way not to approach Jay when he's on the path to a meltdown.</p><p>"I'm fine, just. It's fine."</p><p>"There's no way you can make this anything less than amazing," Mike says, his voice way too soft. Jay groans, dragging his hands over his face while wishing Mike had said nothing at all. This already feels so off, Mike having to coddle Jay's ego when Jay is supposed to be the dominant one.</p><p>"I--" Jay starts to say, then decides fuck words. He needs to start doing something, or they'll just be volleying back and forth about how much Jay can or cannot do this until it's time to leave for Rich's. Reminding himself how powerful and hot it felt when he had his fingers in Mike's mouth he launches himself off the bed, reaching up to tug at Mike's hair until it elicits a whine out of him. He leans in to breathe in Mike's scent, his eyelashes fluttering against Mike's skin for how good the soap he uses smells, mixed with the general musk of him.</p><p>"You trying to tease me by putting all your clothes back on?" Jay asks, ignoring every impulse in his brain that wants to cringe for saying this corny shit.</p><p>Mike can feel his brain physically short-circuiting like a robot in an 80s sci-fi movie. Every impulse that his body is feeling is telling him to kneel, to kneel now, because Jay has all the power, and Jay deserves all the power--</p><p>"Answer me," Jay says, punctuating this with another little tug on Mike's hair that makes him let out an embarrassing whimper. </p><p>"Not tease, just..." Mike's embarrassed about absolutely everything that he wants, but Jay seems like he's willing to at least give this role a try, and so, Mike's lust-addled brain reasons, it makes sense to go whole-hog, because then Jay will know if he likes this game or not. "Hoped you might want to undress me." </p><p>"So you just assumed I’d want to do all the work?" Jay turns his tugs into a soothing glide through Mike's hair, pulling back to grin at Mike and show him he's just teasing, that’s he’s into this. He has no idea if his tone is portraying it properly, or anything he's doing, really. Mike seems affected by it at least, his eyes wide and sparkling with a wanton look Jay is all too familiar with.</p><p>"Okay," Jay says, smoothing Mike's hair down when Mike continues to just stare at him. "Lift your arms."</p><p>Mike does so without question, and Jay feels a surge of power light up his body. He swallows it down, tugging the hem up, feeling considerably less commanding when he has to stand tiptoe to get Mike's shirt off. He tosses it to the ground, taking his time to greedily feel over Mike's soft chest, his stomach, rubbing at the coarse hair that spreads over every inch of him. He plants a kiss to Mike's neck before taking his hand.</p><p>"I'll take off the rest in a minute. Get on the bed first."</p><p>The ghost of Jay's lips on his neck follows Mike to the bed, where he sits on the edge and looks up at Jay for further instructions. The difference in height here feels more natural to the situation that they're trying to craft together. His brain is still whispering, kneel, kneel before your master, but that might be pushing things a little too far, even though he'd just decided to go whole hog a minute ago. What seems suddenly clear to Mike now is that this is becoming about more than just getting his ass pounded on his birthday, at least to him. This is like an introduction to some completely different mindset or "headspace" or whatever, for him. He's familiar with being dominant for Jay, that's always hot and fun. But being submissive for Jay? Much less familiar. All new.</p><p>At this angle Mike looks so—surrendered, or something. It’s not a look Jay is at all familiar with, and his basic instincts are warring between wanting to revel in it and run away. Instead he places one knee between Mike’s spread legs before leaning in to kiss him, letting it go on for a bit before falling into Mike’s chest and knocking him flat on his back. He continues the kiss like this, Mike shirtless beneath him, Jay fully clothed above, pressed against Mike’s bare chest. Part of him wishes he’d thought to take his own shirt off before doing this. He’s normally the one naked while Mike remains fully clothed, brought to orgasm while Mike has at least his boxers on before shucking them off and fucking Jay while he’s newly sensitive. But being the clothed one feels nice in a way, a further exploration into this new power trip.</p><p>“Bet you’re pretty tired of having these on,” Jay says, thumbing at Mike’s pants button, feeling him harden against Jay’s wrist. “With a cock as big as yours it must feel so tight on you. But what do I know?”</p><p>Jay sits up enough to look down at Mike, into his eyes, swimming with lust. </p><p>“Tell me you want me to take them off.”</p><p>"Yes," Mike breathes. He can't look away from Jay's sparkling eyes, not for anything. The power that they have over him is invisible, holding him down better than complex wild bondage gear with just the strength of his gaze. "Please. You're right, they feel so tight, it's uncomfortable. I need your help," Mike says, giving Jay his best acting efforts towards projecting an aura of "vulnerable, sweet, soft man that you want to take care of and also give him a buttfuck supreme."</p><p>Mike sounds legitimately desperate but his face looks like he's putting on a show, not entirely committed to feeling surrendered. Jay grunts, rubbing at Mike's trapped cock until his face melts into something more authentic. When Mike lets out a whine from somewhere high and vulnerable in his throat Jay can’t help a little victory grin.</p><p>"Much better," he whispers, dragging a finger across Mike's spit slick lips, not diving in just yet. He adjusts his straddle on Mike to get a better grip on his jeans, opening them up just enough that he can reach in through the slit in Mike's boxers to pull his cock out, Jay's own still-clothed dick twitching in envy.</p><p>"Ohh fuck, you want this bad, don't you?" Jay coos down at Mike, a little mocking but mostly authentic in his sweetness. Mike is rock hard, his dick near jumping in Jay's hand every time Jay strokes it. Mike is whimpering below him, rolling his hips to get more friction from Jay.</p><p>"That feel better?"</p><p>"It, yuh...AH!" Jay presses his thumb into the slit of Mike's dick, Mike going nuts for it below him, his chest jerking off the bed in pained ecstasy. It's a move Jay has done in the past when he wants Mike to get real lustful and crazed for him, but it's never made him feel so commanding. His entire hand is sticky with proof of how in Jay's thrall Mike is, and Jay feels his confidence building like it did back in the kitchen, maybe more so.</p><p>Jay isn't heavy, not in the grand scheme of nature, and not in comparison to Mike, either. But when he's sitting just beneath Mike's hips like this, he traps Mike in place so well and so thoroughly. Mike can't buck up into Jay's hand like he wants to. He can only arch his back and cry out again as Jay drags his thumb down his shaft, slick with his own pre-come.</p><p>Jay knows exactly where to press, and how hard, to drive Mike fucking wild. He's swirling his thumb around Mike's frenulum right now, pushing hard, and it feels almost as good as if it was a blowjob, or maybe even better in some ways. The firm pressure Jay's exerting on his cock makes it feel like he's pressing on a bruise, the delicious sensation a mixture of pain and pleasure of the sort only Jay can give him.</p><p>"Puh-please," Mike whines, not even sure what he's asking for, just needing Jay to talk to him.</p><p>"Please what?" Jay's voice has a malicious edge to it that makes Mike's dick throb in his hand. "Please do this again?" He pushes against Mike's slit once more, and Mike makes an undignified noise that might be best described as a squeal. "Or do you want something else?"</p><p>"Something...else," Mike chokes out. He's never wanted it more than he wants it right now. He wants Jay to punish him, make it hurt, and then caress his cheek and tell him how well he's doing.</p><p>One of Jay's hands is occupied with absolutely torturing his dick, but the other one is free, and Mike grabs his wrist and brings his hand to his mouth. Ordinarily, he'd be concerned with being too needy, or greedy, but right now he needs something in his mouth--anything will do, but he wants to keep chasing that high from earlier. He pulls Jay's index and middle fingers to his lips, begging, pleading, for this, for more, for anything.</p><p>Jay watches breathlessly, one side still working Mike's cock while Mike sucks the fingers of the other back into his mouth. His tongue and lips are sloppy, way less controlled than the way he worked them in the kitchen, and it's making Jay's vision tunnel with lust. The cynical part of him wants to assume this is some calculated move from Mike, a way to get Jay to speed things up so he can have what he wants, but Mike seems genuinely gone for all of this. When Mike sucks hard in a way that makes Jay's hip roll forward he decides he can't take it anymore, waves of heat crashing through him, letting go of Mike's dick and snatching his fingers out of his mouth. </p><p>Mike looks distressed as Jay climbs off, but only until Jay is standing at the edge of the bed, his hands on the waistband of Mike's jeans. His eyes glaze back over with want as he lifts his hips, Jay tugging off his boxers with his pants, kicking them out of the way when they pool on the floor, Jay throwing off his own clothes beside them. </p><p>He moans under his breath as he takes in the sight of Mike before him. He's splayed out, his back flushed to the bed, helpless. His dick is rock hard and near purple, light glistening off the strands of precome that have dripped out. He's breathing heavy, his chest heaving under the labor of trying to get air in like this, his lips slightly parted as he strains to look over his body at Jay. </p><p>Jay gives him a soft smile before leaning back down, this time placing his face between Mike's thighs. He bites and sucks at the skin there, getting close to Mike's dick but pulling back before his lips or tongue can make contact. He feels himself grinning every time Mike lets out a whine. "Do you want me to bring you off now?" Jay asks, breathing on Mike's dick, still keeping from making contact with it. "Want to be all sensitive before we even start? Or do you want to wait to come until I'm inside you?"</p><p>He's borrowing a lot of Mike's phrases, his stomach coiling with new heat thinking about the way those words feel like their own filthy touch whenever Mike is riling him up. They seem to be just as effective on Mike, if the way he's squirming under Jay's touch at having his own dirty talk parroted back to him is any indication.</p><p>Jay's beard is tickling the inside of Mike’s thighs. The prickle is enough to make them twitch in reflex, but Jay is holding his legs down, keeping Mike from accidentally kneeing him in the side of his head. </p><p>Being held down again also has the added effect of making his dick throb. He's leaking more pre-come than he possibly ever has before in his entire life. Jay's warm breath near his cock as he talks isn't making it easier.</p><p>"I don't want to come yet," he manages to say. Just that sentence is enough to make him feel like he's out of breath. "Want to come when you're inside me. Please?"</p><p>Jay nods, his mouth starting to dry up a little. He's not sure what answer he wanted to hear from Mike, but being able to bring Mike off before prepping his ass would have at least bought him a little more time. He clamps down harder on Mike's shivering thighs. Jay's got a pretty good grip, but Mike is naturally stronger, especially when he's all keyed up on sex pheromones, and if he starts shaking any harder he'll slip from Jay's grasp.</p><p>Jay lets go, sliding up the bed to sit at Mike's side. In an effort to prolong having to look Mike in the eye while he goes full dominant over him for the first time, he pushes Mike onto his side, spooning up to his back once he's in place.</p><p>"Okay, Mike," he whispers in his ear, kissing the nerve behind his earlobe, which gets another jolt. He slides a finger down Mike's back, pausing at moments to tickle him a little, make him shiver, before grazing over Mike's hole.</p><p>"Here?" Jay murmurs, trying to sound teasing and not terrified. The way Mike is audibly panting may be a sign he's too gone to notice Jay's nervousness anyway. "You only want to come when I touch you here?"</p><p>Jay's breath is soft against his ear. It combines with the gentle scruffing of his beard against the sensitive skin on Mike's neck to be enough to make his toes curl. And when Jay starts tracing a line down his back with a ghost of a touch, it's almost enough to make him come right then. It feels like every nerve ending in his body is standing at attention, ready to accept whatever Jay wants to give.</p><p>Then Jay grazes his finger across Mike's hole, and he jumps in shock, even though he knew it was coming. He makes a sound that he's only heard himself make when he's truly surprised, a sort of barked gasp. His cock is twitching so hard, unspooling pre-come into a little pool on the sheets beneath him, and he just knows he's already on the precipice. But he doesn't want to ground himself, wants to stay up here in the clouds with Jay.</p><p>"Oh, god," he hears himself mumble as he pushes his hips backwards, trying to get more contact with Jay's finger, which is currently tracing light circles around his rim.</p><p>"Careful," Jay whispers, placing his free hand against the small of Mike's back, more to calm him than stop his hips from moving. "Do I need to get the lube?"</p><p>Mike moans in response, any words he's saying muffled by the bedsheets and his own whining. Jay takes a few shuddery breaths, not quite ready to grab for the lube but not sure how they can possibly drag this out any further. He leans over and takes a deep breath against the humid skin between Mike's neck and shoulder for courage. It's a move Mike has done, and if he’s borrowing other moves from Mike's playbook, why not this one. It works, a little, the lingering scent of soap mixed with delicate sex sweat acting as a sort of calming agent.</p><p>He reaches back for the lube, not letting himself think about this too much when he pops the lid and squirts a generous amount on his finger. The way Mike's shoulders flinch at the sound of it opening makes him want to pause in sympathy or something. Instead he smears the lube around Mike's hole, tracing circles there. He soothes his other hand along Mike's side when his breath hitches.</p><p>"Just gonna prep you for a little bit before pushing in, okay?"</p><p>Mike nods feverishly, his stubble scraping against the smooth cotton pillowcase beneath his hot cheek. He knows, technically speaking, that asses have more nerve endings than dicks, but right now it feels like Jay is touching every single one, as he slowly circles Mike's clenched-tight rim with his lube-slicked finger. Then he's putting gentle pressure on Mike's hole, trying to press him open with just one tiny finger, but Mike is squeezed too tight for him to fit. Not even his tiny Jay fingers can make it inside.</p><p>"Relax," Jay murmurs, his other hand ghosting along Mike's side. His breath is hot against Mike's ear, and the sensation makes his dick throb, but it's not making him relax. It's possible that he's never felt <em> less </em> relaxed in his entire life. He suddenly feels like it's going to be impossible for this to happen, that he's the one to disappoint Jay now, after begging and pleading for this, he couldn't even take a single finger, how shameful, how <em> embarrassing </em>--</p><p>Jay must have felt him stiffen up, because his hands stop moving. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"I--I don't--" Mike can't even get the words out properly. "I can't do this, I can't relax enough, I can't--"</p><p>Jay pulls his fingers back, having half a mind to freak out along with Mike. He's never seen Mike like this during sex and it's not helping his nerves. Part of him is tempted to jump on this opportunity, to say oh well, we tried it, guess you can just fuck me now! But that's a shithead move, and he owes it to Mike to at least try to calm him down.</p><p>"Relax--hey, shh, calm down." He pinches Mike's stomach a few times with increasing intensity, which gets him an annoyed grunt. It also gets Mike to stop hyperventilating.</p><p>"Have you ever had someone fuck you before?" Jay soothes his clean hand over where he pinched, the skin looking pink with irritation.</p><p>"Yes, Jay." Mike huffs out, craning his head back to glare at him. "But it doesn't make a fucking difference--"</p><p>"Yes, it does," Jay says, squeezing again to get Mike to shut up. "You know you can do this. You just want it too bad to remember that."</p><p>Mike pinches his eyebrows together like he doubts this, but he's also stopped babbling, so Jay forges forward. </p><p>"I know how bad you want this," Jay whispers, leaning in to breathe this against Mike's ear like it's a secret. Mike is breathing heavy again, but it seems less anxious. Jay fumbles for the lube, squirting more onto his fingers as quietly as he can while continuing.</p><p>"Just think about how good it will feel, to have me inside you. Think about all the times you've fucked me, how crazy it makes me, how much I love you for it. Now I get to give that to you."</p><p>Mike groans, his whole body sinking into the bed a little, and that's when Jay takes the opportunity to tease his finger in. It's just a little, barely going past the nail, but it causes Mike to both stiffen and arch back into it.</p><p>"Shh, see, you're okay, you can let me in. And it's going to feel so good when you do. I--I'll make it feel good Mike, I promise." Jay's voice falters on that last part, but he pushes past it, needs to stop being so fucking paranoid about this, really does need to make this good for Mike, who deserves Jay to go all in on this for him. Mike will only relax if he can trust Jay on some primal level to take care of him, and Jay will do everything he can to prove that trust is worth it.</p><p>Now Jay had just the tip of one finger inside of Mike, and Mike can feel his muscles tense up further, clenching around Jay's first knuckle. He’s breathing heavily again, although trying to stay out of hyperventilation and trying to avoid spiking his anxiety. He feels adrift, suddenly, like the astronaut lady from Gravity, needing to grab onto something, anything, to tether himself to the moment and allow--or force--himself to enjoy this thing he'd been craving, although right now he wasn't sure why.</p><p>Mike reaches back around to pick up Jay's free hand. It’s adorably small, as always, fitting perfectly inside of his. He pulls Jay's hand to his face, and kisses his knuckles. Jay would always be his tether.</p><p>Jay squeezes Mike's hand when Mike grabs for it, pressing his fingers into Mike's kiss. Mike's hand is warm despite how cold the room is.</p><p>"You're always so warm," Jay murmurs. "Especially here."</p><p>Mike chuckles, in spite of his tumultuous feelings that haven't quite evaporated yet. "My mouth, or my ass?" he asks, punctuating it with another kiss to Jay's bony little knuckles.</p><p>With that smartass remark Jay presses his finger in all the way, Mike gasping around his hand when he does. Jay leaves it still for a moment, giving Mike time to adjust.</p><p>"That feel okay?" He asks when Mike doesn't say anything, just groans into the sheets. Mike nods, so Jay starts twisting his finger around a little.</p><p>"Mhm, it feels nice, doesn't it? To be touched like this? Do you think it'd feel nicer with two fingers?"</p><p>With that Jay slides a second finger in, biting down a moan when Mike gasps. He gives him a few moments to adjust before moving them around, scissoring and curling them to feel inside Mike as much as he can. It’s almost like a clinical, scientific experiment for him, seeing what it looks like to stretch someone out with fingers as opposed to being the one who’s stretched. It feels considerably less scientific when he swipes Mike’s prostate, almost on accident, eliciting a filthy moan. </p><p>Mike’s yelp sounds almost pained at first, striking fear into Jay’s chest that he did something horribly wrong. But then Mike follows it with a second, deeper, more assuredly pleasurable groan and Jay can't help the smug look on his face. And when Mike’s dick twitches and leaks a little spurt of pre-come, Jay feels self-satisfied. </p><p>Jay runs a finger on his free hand through some of the pre-come pooling out of Mike’s dick.</p><p>“Aww,” he taunts in his most sultry voice possible, Mike making choked little sobbing noises. “You're liking this, aren't you?" </p><p>Jay's tiny little fingers feel surprisingly large inside of him, since Jay keeps spreading them apart to open him up more. Then, suddenly, Jay pulls them out.</p><p>Mike whines at the sudden empty, vacant feeling, but Jay shushes him, and Mike can hear him squirting more lube on his fingers. Before going back in, Jay grazes his fingers in little circles outside the rim. </p><p>"You have to be patient Mike,” he whispers. “I know how to take care of you. You just have to let me.” </p><p>Mike's dick twitches so hard that for a second Jay is afraid Mike already came. He waits for Mike to give him some sort of sign that he’s calmed down a bit before continuing.</p><p>Mike nods feverishly and whispers, "Thank you." When Jay pushes back inside with two fingers at once, he groans, writhing back onto Jay's hand. The extra lube somehow made it even better, smooth and easy, and he flexes involuntarily around Jay's fingers.</p><p>Jay smooths his free hand over Mike's stomach to calm him, working down to his inner thighs when Mike finally stills, though he keeps clenching around Jay's fingers. “Stop clenching-- god, you’re so tight.”</p><p>Mike sniffs out a laugh. “Get more creative lines--ah!”</p><p>Jay pinches Mike's thigh for that and Mike shivers, but they both laugh nervously. Jay continues working him over with his fingers, Mike not as loose as he’d like him. “If you tense up like this when my cock is inside you, I won’t be able to last long.”</p><p>Mike is breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling. If Jay won't be able to last long, Mike is pretty sure that he'll pop off like a firework the second that Jay is inside of him unless he calms down a little. He opens his eyes and turns his head to look down at Jay, whose cheeks are as red and flustered as he's ever seen them. Mike can just see the tip of his cock and it's as red as his cheeks, which is cute, but then Jay twitches his fingers against Mike's prostate again and Mike sees stars over Jay's face as he shouts again.</p><p>Mike grabs Jay's wrist and whispers that Jay has to do it now, please, he can't wait anymore. Jay removes his fingers after one more stretch and grabs for the lube, starting to slick it over his cock. Mike reaches his hand out to signal he wants to do it for him, but Jay kisses him in dismissal. “If you do it for me, I'll come before I can even get inside you."</p><p>Maybe this isn't going to be a marathon fuck session, Mike thinks, which is probably good because he honestly doesn't know how much more of this he can take before his brain overloads with serotonin or dopamine or whatever the feel-good chemical is. He rolls over onto his back and sits up on his elbows for a second, which is uncomfortable enough to relieve some of the bursting pressure in his dick, so that he can get a better look at Jay slicking himself up. His cock is just perfectly sized for the rest of his tiny body, and yet Mike knows it's going to feel like he's being impaled with a giant pole.</p><p>Jay sees this hesitation in Mike's eyes and pauses from slicking up, his hand still on his cock as he leans forward to kiss Mike, hoping to spark some courage between the two of them. Jay swears he feels more nervous than Mike does in this moment, the potential to let Mike down too high not to still feel at least a little intimidated. But Mike's kisses are so hungry, and the way he moved with Jay's fingers inside him, those noises he made… Jay breaks off the kiss and leans back on his heels, pumping his cock a few more times before spreading Mike's knees apart. He bumps the head of his dick against Mike's hole as they both groan, and it really is now or never.</p><p>Mike curses as Jay pushes in. It’s just the head so far, he thinks, but it feels like he's being split in half. it's a sweet burn, not pain so much as an intense, deep stretch. He looks up at Jay's reddened face through the haze of his arousal, Jay's mouth open and his perfectly imperfect little teeth visible. Mike loves him so much, but he can't say it out loud because he can't say anything right now, he can only breathe his heavy breaths as Jay presses in, millimeter by millimeter.</p><p>Jay is wiggling his hips to get all of himself into Mike, but it's not easy. Despite his careful efforts Mike is still so tight, which Jay can't think about if he doesn't want to embarrass himself and ruin this for Mike by coming when he's not even halfway in. He's breathing heavily through parted lips, sweat dripping from his hair, his face beating with the remaining blood that hasn't rushed to his rock hard dick. </p><p>Mike is looking up at him, his eyes sweet and wide. He also looks like he wants to say something, and Jay prays that he doesn't, needing to focus all his efforts on getting the last inch inside. He curses and shunts his hips forward, eliciting a sharp gasp from mike. Jay closes his eyes, turning his face upwards to collect himself. This feels too good, and Mike is so surrendered below him, blinking up with those eyes that Jay wants to melt for. He huffs and looks back down, rocking his hips so he can start properly moving. A whine escapes from high in his throat when he realizes he can't thrust like he wants to at this angle.</p><p>Mike can feel Jay's shallow little thrusts, barely moving at all, and at one point Jay almost slips out. Mike tilts his hips down, trying to fix the angle, but that makes it worse, and Jay's dick bends with his next shallow thrust. He winces, and Mike breathes an apology, rotating his hips upwards instead. That helps, and Jay pushes deeper inside, but it's murder on his lower back and his abs, and he starts shaking with the effort of holding the position, like he's doing crunches underneath Jay.</p><p>Jay can feel how tense Mike is below him, his stomach visibly shaking with the effort to keep himself held up at this new angle. He pushes down on Mikke, gently, allowing him to lie flat on the bed. He looks relieved for doing so, but the angle is still wrong, Jay unable to move into him the way he needs. He feels flushed with frustration and embarrassment, like he's ruining this experience for Mike after all, something he wanted so much that Jay can't deliver to him. Before he can spiral into despair, an idea occurs to him. </p><p>Leaning back, his dick sliding out a little, he grips the ankle of Mike's right leg before bending it slowly toward Mike's shoulder. Mike is surprisingly flexible, wordlessly allowing Jay to push his leg up until his knee is near his face. Jay leans forward with it, Mike far more open now, and they both gasp at the feeling of Jay being inside so fully. Without even having to move, he can already feel how easy it will be to thrust into Mike like this, shaking from his hips all the way down to his feet with the need to start fucking into Mike.</p><p>Mike's gasp melds seamlessly into a moan as Jay's trembling eases into a glacially slow thrust. He can feel every micrometer of Jay's cock inside of him, every little ridge and the smooth velvet of the head as it drags down against his still-tight opening. Then Jay pushes back in, and something about the shift in the angle has made it so that Jay's cock scrapes over his prostate. He cries out, and he'd be embarrassed about making so much noise if he was in his right mind, but he's not, he's gone to another place entirely. He reaches down to squeeze his own dick hard, trying to stave off his impending orgasm, but he's not sure how long he'll last, now that Jay's thrusts are smooth and deep.</p><p>Thrusting is so much easier at this angle, nothing holding Jay back from fucking into Mike fast and deep, snapping back and forth in record time. Mike is practically crying beneath him, and at some point Jay must have made direct contact with his prostate, because Mike cries out harder than Jay has ever heard him, his hand moving to his dick in an obvious effort to keep from coming. Jay has never seen Mike lost in pleasure like this, never heard these kinds of noises escape Mike’s lips. He’s used to Mike hovering over him, grunting between talks of “you feel so good” and “just like that, good boy.” There’s none of that now, just cries and whimpers as Jay fucks into him faster, his eyes sparkling up at Jay with so much adoration that he almost wants to stop to kiss Mike. This might be coming to an end before long anyway, because he feels his balls pull up in a way that’s too familiar and too soon.</p><p>Jay's thrusts have sped up now, rhythmic and driving. His hips are smacking against Mike's ass with just enough force to turn his whimpers into soft grunts, and he thinks he might be crying for real, just a little bit, but he's not sure, and he definitely doesn't care, even if he is. Jay is staring down at him like he's a precious thing, a treasure to be loved and possessed. He regains enough mind to find himself wondering if this loving gaze is at all similar to what Jay sees when Mike is fucking him, and that's enough to send him hurtling towards the point of no return. His grip on his dick shifts from desperate squeezing to fevered stroking. He's not going to last much longer, but based on the change in Jay's breathing, how it's hitching and catching with each thrust, neither is Jay.</p><p>Jay can feel his thrusts get more erratic, losing rhythm, but he doesn't have the mind left enough to care. He tries to focus on something, anything, to help him last longer, but it's all driving him closer and closer to the edge. The grunts Mike is making, the softness in his face, how Mike still seems so large beneath him. It's all too much, and when Mike starts moving his hand on his dick Jay knows he's done for. He wants to reach down, to touch Mike's cock in a way that will let him come, for Jay to be the sole reason Mike is brought to orgasm. Before he can so much as move his hand Mike shifts his hips slightly, creating a slide that makes Jay cry out, and it's over, Jay going still atop Mike as his orgasm rocks throughout his entire body and empties itself into Mike.</p><p>The freeze in Jay's motion amplifies the way his cock is moving inside of Mike. It's twitching hard inside of him, pushing new heat deeper within him and flexing against his prostate, sending fresh stars into his vision. All he can see now is Jay's face, contorted in pleasure as he empties into Mike. Jay’s glittering eyes shut for a moment and then open again, locking onto Mike's with that expression of awed affection, and it's all too much, and just enough. With one more tug of his own cock, Mike cries out, a rush of pleasure coursing through his body as he comes, spraying hard onto both of their stomachs as he clenches around Jay to draw out every last drop from him.</p><p>Jay's orgasm is ending as Mike's starts, Mike painting both of them with his release. It's getting near painful to have his softening dick still inside Mike as he clenches around Jay in his own pleasure, but he isn't ready to be outside of Mike yet. From the way Mike is looking at him, it doesn't seem like he's ready for Jay to be apart from him either, his hooded eyes sparkling with lust. Jay gets his brain back online enough to reach for Mike's cock, gently pushing Mike's hand out of the way so he can tug the last few spurts out of him, ropes of come dwindling to pearly droplets. Mike whines when Jay continues jerking him off after his orgasm has receded, both of them feeling raw and overstimulated. </p><p>He slides out, wincing, and only has energy left to collapse on top of Mike's chest. He feels sticky with sweat and come, Mike's release sandwiched between their stomachs while Jay's leaks out of Mike's ass onto the sheets, Jay's legs, pooling around them. Jay would normally feel gross lying in all this mess, but he can't seem to make himself care. The polite thing to do would be to get a washcloth from the bathroom and wipe them both off, but he can't make himself care about that either. He feels shaky and nervous all of a sudden, his confidence dropping again despite Mike's come cooling between them, and all he wants to do is curl up on top of Mike and feel their bodies press together a little longer.</p><p>Jay suddenly feels so much smaller on top of Mike than he felt when he was pounding into him. Mike's limbs feel heavy with post-orgasmic stupor, but he manages to curl his arms around Jay, pulling him close, pressing them both into a humid stickiness that is grossly satisfying. Holding him like this usually happens after Jay has ridden Mike on top, and he always loves it, but this time it's different. The come leaking out of his ass tickles and itches at the same time, and yet it's pleasant somehow, as though it's proof of something. Maybe it's just proof that Jay loves him enough to humor his request for a change of pace, but it seems like more than that. Proof that they fit together perfectly in every possible combination, in every possible lifetime.</p><p>Mike's arms feel like heaven around him, heavy and secure, their warmth dragging Jay into sleep despite his best efforts. It feels so calming, despite the damp stickiness between them, or maybe because of it, everything in the room spinning and swirling to make Jay feel like the most treasured thing on the planet. He never gets this goopy after sex, even when Mike pounds him harder than either of them think Jay can take and whispers sweet nothings afterwards, but this is different. Mike is tightening his arms around him, pressing kisses to the top of his sweaty, sex wrecked hair, each peck feeling like a confirmation that Jay did this so well, exactly what Mike had been itching for, able to be delivered by Jay and Jay alone.</p><p>Jay's damp hair is tickling Mike's nose as he nuzzles into it, smelling his pomade and shampoo alongside the natural scent of his skin, sweaty with exertion, and probably pheromones, too, because the scent is doing something to Mike's brain, making him feel another surge of adoration for Jay. His Jay, so small in his arms and still somehow so powerful over Mike. He wants to whisper sweet things to him, tell him precisely how much he's loved with the kind of exacting specificity that Jay would appreciate, but he doesn't want to break the gentle silence between them. Instead, he just listens to Jay's breathing become more steady, feeling him rise and fall in his arms with each of his breaths.</p><p>Jay isn’t sure how long he was asleep for, just that when he wakes he feels even sweatier, come itching his stomach. He peeks up at Mike, who looks like he’s been watching Jay uninterrupted the entire time. He squirms to get up, but Mike keeps his arms locked around him.</p><p>“Ngh,” Jay grunts, relinquishing. “I hafta clean us.”</p><p>“Mm.” Mike still doesn’t let go.</p><p>“Aren’t you itchy?”</p><p>He feels the rise of Mike shrugging his shoulders, his grip unrelenting. Jay is cognizant enough now that he wants to lodge a complaint, wipe the sweat and come off them both, maybe even change the sheets, but something in Mike’s grip tells Jay he needs this, so he relaxes against Mike’s body for now. He can feel Mike breathing in the scent of him, his squishy nose digging into Jay’s hair, and at one point Jay swears he hears him whisper ‘thank you’, but the room remains silent aside from the steady heat of Mike’s heart against his ear.</p><p>Mike would have been content to stay in their damp and sticky bed for hours, holding Jay in his arms, safe from the world. But the clock on the nightstand on his side of the bed wouldn't allow it. He sighed, relaxing his grip on Jay with reluctance. "Do we really need to shower before we go to Rich's for the party? I'm sure no one will notice if we smell like lube and come," he joked.</p><p>"I'll know," Jay says, leaving the warmth of Mike's arms with a groan. He rolls off Mike and onto the floor, standing on his toes and stretching his arms above his head. When he comes back down, he sees Mike is still looking at him with those heavy, lovesick eyes, and he's far away enough from the high of their pheromones to feel himself turning red under that unrelenting stare. "C'mon," he says, tugging "We can shower together, your favorite."</p><p>"My favorite," Mike echoes as he stumbles to his feet with a soft huff. He grabs Jay's hand and lets him lead them into the bathroom. "I'll consider this my second birthday present."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Birthday, Mike! We got this birthday present in right under the wire...in US Pacific Time, at least. </p><p>Be pals with Coq on Twitter: @HRHSherlock (backup: @thebeatdown_)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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